it’s been awhile.

lately there have been so many things in my life that occupy all of my time and energy.  Although I’d like to believe that all of these things are of vast importance, I must admit that some are rather trivial.

In the larger scheme of life, we really have no control or say in when we die.  Within the last several weeks I’ve lost 3 people who were very close to me, some closer than others.  The most tragic was the very recent loss of my 2nd cousin who was only 33 years old.  He died of a heart attack the day before Father’s Day.  This was a guy who was always kind and good, never troubled, not an alcoholic and never did drugs.  He was healthy and in good shape….but we have bad hearts in our family.  It seems to plague the men in our family for some reason although the women are not immune to health problems themselves.  He just dropped dead on Saturday after getting a clean bill of health the previous Tuesday from a doctor when he went to get checked up because he had minor chest pains.

When we got the call from my Aunt to inform us of his death, I couldn’t help but wonder WHY?  What kind of God would do this?  Then I pause and reflect on it and realize that it’s not God’s fault even if it were God’s will.  For the most part, the universe has a road map and blueprint for each of our lives that can predict when and how we die.  Unless we forsee a problem and take drastic measures to change our circumstances, most of us die when we were “meant to”.

I am 26 years old.  I am overweight and stressed out.  Looking at my cousin’s death has made me take a drastic look in the mirror and wonder why I keep putting off losing weight and getting healthy.  I have a son to think about.  I can’t leave him and die.  I can’t be so selfish that I refuse to take care of myself to the degree I need to because I’m lazy and don’t want to put in the hard work.  I have to face my own mortality and be thankful for the gift of life and live each day as if it were truly my last.

I think that now more than ever, I believe in my own power to guide my life down the path I wish to take.  Fate is but a blueprint, it can be changed and altered by our actions, both positively and negatively.  I need to be proactive and make the positive change.  There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.

I’m slowly going to be back blogging once I find more time.  I just wanted to get my thoughts down and share them with anyone who might come across this.

Don’t settle for the fate you believe you’ve been dealt.  If you settle for less, you will have less.  If you strive for greatness, you’re more likely to succeed.  Don’t lose perspective.  Keep on moving forward.

I know it’s easy to type and say but not so easy to follow but I’m going to make the effort to follow my  mantra and truly make a change in my life so I can live it to the fullest and be the best person and mother I can  be.

RIP Aunty Sister, Aunty Lily, and my cousin Kawika aka “Dino”.  I’ll never forget you.  You’re forever with me in my thoughts and prayers.  I love you.

Children…

I’ve found that the most amazing thing in the world is watching a young life grow up before your eyes and flourish.  Anyone who’s a parent knows what I’m talking about.  To have or adopt a child, watch him or her grow, learn, think, and reason.  I love the way my son’s voice continues to change as he gets older and I miss the times I had with him when he was a baby.  As much as a parent might yearn for or miss those baby times, they can’t help but be excited to see how their child will change as he/she grows.

I sometimes try to imagine what he will be like when he is a man.  I also try to remember not to push my wants and dreams on him so that he can learn to think for himself and create dreams of his own.  Nurture is definitely the most important thing in parenting.  Nurturing and molding them to think for themselves and to be independent and follow their own path.  Teaching your children to make the right choices instead of the easy ones, to stand alone before jumping off a bridge just because everyone else is doing it.  It is my job as a mother to guide him and teach him discipline and respect so he can be a strong, smart, independent, kind, and successful man.

I read all of these stories of violence and murder….those people who commit those crimes were once children…  It’s sad thinking about what could have lead them to make such terrible choices and I remember that I need to set a good example so that my son will be a positive addition to the world and not one of those who get so consumed by hate and violence that they destroy themselves and hurt others.

Parenting is not easy and I applaud parents who try their best to be a good guiding force in their children’s lives.

It goes by so fast doesn’t it?  Just not too long ago my son was a baby and now he’s 6.  Too too fast.

Blind Items

Where oh where has the A list film star been hiding?  Well he needs to go to rehab but doesn’t want to ruin his good guy image. So, he has been hiding out at a home he owns which he has turned into his own personal rehab facility complete with counselor and doctor.

Any guesses??

Suspect arrested in Compton shooting…

On Sunday, there was a drive-by shooting in Compton where two men got killed, one of which was in a wheelchair at the time.

WTF!!

The two victims were Rigoberto Vega, 23, and David Gallegos, 32 (who was in a wheelchair)…

My prayers to their families.

For more information, click here to read the LA Times article.

Apparently a 19 year old turned himself in…my guess is that he’s not even the one who did the shooting…

I hope they catch all of the assailants.

Cameron Diaz Ex-Files

According to TMZ.com, Cameron Diaz is such a cool chick that she’s still on good terms with exes like Justin Timberlake and John Mayer.  They even showed up at her father’s memorial.

Classy guys, classy girl.  My prayers to Cameron Diaz and her family as they deal with this sudden and shocking loss.  May Emilio Diaz Rest In Peace.

The family asks that all that can, donate to these organizations  The Surfrider Foundation or Reef Check in Emilio’s name.

Naomi Campbell’s “apology”

According to the New York Daily News, supermodel, Naomi Campbell “apologized” to Heathrow Airport for her outburst of violence a few weeks ago.

Yeah, I bet she really reallly reeaaallly meant it this time…hah!

I bet she’s as sincerely sorry for losing it again as she was all those times she threw phones at people and hurt them!  NOT

Whaddabitch.

Got electronic junk? Here’s a green idea.

MSNBC.com published this interesting article about different ways to get rid of your unwanted/broken electronic items.  I thought it was interesting and definitely worth reading, whether you want to be “green” or not!

Airlines to start charging for extra bag…

[image courtesy of New York Times]

If you fly coach, you’re out of luck.  It seems that many airlines are entertaining the idea of charging for extra bags when you fly.  Though the cost difference will only be about $25, it will definitely irritate many who choose to fly coach and find that having only 1 bag isn’t enough to fit all of your stuff in.

This move is one of many discussed by the major airlines in the United States to help offset the rising cost of fuel for the planes.  $25 isn’t that much, but imagine how much it will add up to with all the people who fly coach who bring more than one bag?  ChaChing$$!!

The new fee of $25 for a second bag is being levied by Continental, Delta, Northwest, United and US Airways. The low-fare carrier AirTran has announced that it will charge $10 a flight for a second checked bag. Airlines have long levied fees for checking a third bag. Some carriers have recently increased those as well, and the fees on the major carriers now run as high as $100.

Hmm…why don’t they raise the fare for First Class????  It’s not like people who fly first class can’t afford a slight price increase for their tickets!

Some are afraid that the new implemented cost of having 2 or more bags is going to make more people bring on more carryons.  That’ll fill up all of the overhead room…what about the people who only bring one bag?  I guess they’re sh*t outta luck.